she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
