this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
