They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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