Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
