whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's always time for handjobs
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
