did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize