I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
