I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
