i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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