Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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