Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think people are normalizing furries
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
