She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
