I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
