i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Buhtt sex?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
