I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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