did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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