Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
being pregnant is like rehab
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
