Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
