my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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