oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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