how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I just sharted jello shots
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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