Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
