ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize