Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
