SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
