i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize