Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
