You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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