The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize