hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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