it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
