Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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