ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
