He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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