its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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