I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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