yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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