I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
