Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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