she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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