Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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