I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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