We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
a search helicopter?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
