just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
