All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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