Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
