I wish my penis had an off switch
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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