my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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