it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
