he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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