ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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