man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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