my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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