In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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