It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
