go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
