Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if i died would you start the facebook group?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize