his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
