I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
