Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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