Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
