Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
