I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
