Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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