don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
