Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
