oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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