Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
