There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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