i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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