And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wannas sexs uuuuu
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
