Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
