As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Holy sore nipples Batman
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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