I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
