worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
