it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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