This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
