I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
