I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize