So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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