could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
