i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
