Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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