this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
