this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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