We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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